Kuroha's Way Too Early Christmas Special!
by Mastermind Ritsu
Summary: Ah, it's that time of the season again, except it isn't! The (un)beloved snake from the depths of the heat haze purgatory decides to celebrate the not holidays with his closest pals, the Mekakushi Dan! How will the poor children react to this snake's sudden burst of the holiday spirit?


The rays of the summer heat and the annoying cries of the cicadas make Kuroha pleased as he looked down at the hands of his freshly possessed form. Poor, poor Konoha. After all the time he'd spent working on his indestructible body through Kenjiro Tateyama's body during the late hours of the night, and it ended up being of some use to him. He was just an experiment in the process of bringing back Old Tateyama's wife, along with his virtual cyberpet, so their lives weren't of any value to him from the start.

"I wonder how long this has been carried out. Months? Years? Decades? I've certainly lost track." He smiled to himself, tapping his fingers along his cheek. Kuroha watched silently as a child scampered past to her mother, dropping behind a peculiar red hat. When she disappeared from sight, Kuroha walked over ever so casually and picked it up, rubbing his thumbs on the smooth, red fuzz. "I grow weary of repeating the same actions over and over. Kill, kill, kill. It sounds fun, but it's more work and no play. Something different has to happen in some timeline, or else I might just have to start killing others besides the brats."

He grinned, gaining a strange, but otherwise interesting idea that might entertain him. Putting on the hat, the end drooped down besides his face, and he smacked at the cotton ball at the end.

_"Maybe Christmas in the summer will be an interesting kick starter..."_

* * *

><p>Kano's mouth dropped open and a childish whine escaped. He couldn't believe that he had just lost to Kido at Pokemon, again! His red, catlike eyes closed in defeat, and shut the lid of his gaming system. Mary giggled from her spot on the couch besides a sleeping Seto, and Kano stood up, stretching.<p>

"Well, Kido, you've won again." He said nonchalantly. Kido remained in her sitting arrangement with her legs crossed on the floor, still holding onto her DS. He could never really tell if she was smiling, frowning, or whatever behind the fabric of her hood. For his sister, even she was too mysterious for him sometimes.

"You really don't know your Pokemon types, do you?" She said, saving her game and shutting it down.

"Was I supposed to? This is the third time I've even played this game! This is Shintaro's system, for crying out loud!" Kano said, shoving it back into Momo's arms. She was the one who set up the two to even compete in a match anyhow.

"Don't raise your voice about this! He'd kill me if he discovered that I took these from his room!" Momo said, stuffing the system back into her hoodie pockets, creating an obvious bulge in the fabric. Kano wondered how she even managed to smuggle the devices out of his house without his notice. Perhaps Ene distracted him with files from his "secret stash" that she showed him one time.

He decided to let the issue drop. "Isn't it a nice day? The sun is shining, the temperature is pleasant, and..." he paused, realizing the date. The date of the head haze. The one that had stuck the Mekakushi Dan with their cursed powers, ones that made them out to be nothing more than monsters. Would anyone else pass today and enter the haze as they had? People die every day, after all. Some statistics even say up to every five minutes someone passes from this world to the next.

Kido noticed his stare and agreed solemnly. "It's the day."

"I hope Sis is alright, wherever she is..." Kano brought up, thinking that this was the very day that his beloved sister committed a tragic act of suicide as an attempt to save them, and he had witnessed her silhouette fall over the school's rooftop to her demise. He had blamed himself for weeks, months even because of her death. It was his fault that Ayano was dead, and would never come back. Not even the heat haze could save her.

Hibiya came into the room sluggishly with his bedhead. It was apparent that he just got out of bed (Genius, Kano, Genius.) It was rather nice to see the kid, moreover the fact that he removed his memory of Ayano for now.

"Morning, Hibiya!" Mary chirped, holding her cup of tea. The other few in the room also bid him a good morning, and Hibiya grunted.

"Konoha's at the door, but he's got a new look." He sat down besides Mary and took his own tea cup without permission and drunk some of the sweet liquid.

"And you didn't let him in?" Seto got up, pushing his goggled back up onto his hood. "I'll get the door!" He ran off to the confines of the front door to the gang's base without a second thought. Kido stood up, handing Momo Shintaro's other DS, looking back at the area where Seto ran off to.

"What do you mean by new look? Did he finally change his uniform?" She asked. Hibiya didn't bother to look at the group's leader.

"Y'know. He dyed his hair black, is wearing all black. Yellow contacts. I think he finally hit his scene phase." Momo choked on her tea, and Kido let out a small chuckle that cracked due to being forced back. Mary didn't know what they were talking about, so she went back to her manga. Kano smirked some, getting a mental image of Kuroha jamming out to an American punk rock band with obnoxious screaming in it.

"Ah, puberty. A time of self discovery. I'm glad he found his true self." Kano joked. Kido smacked him in the head at his comment, and he touched it lightly and winced. Love hurts, metaphorically and literally.

""Well, it's still nice that Konoha would visit us!"

"Yeah, I guess it is. Poor kid." Kido said. Loud shouting could be heard from the foyer, and Seto's screams echoed through the hallway. Kido's posture shot up, and she looked back at her frightened followers. "Stay right here! Don't do anything rash!" Kido dashed off towards the front door. Kano blinked once. Twice. Everything remained silent as no one moved.

"I-Is the leader alright?" Mono asked, hugging a very scared Mary. Kano clenched his teeth. What happened to his sister? Was Konoha acting up? What if it wasn't Konoha? What if they were harming his sister at this moment?

"I don't know, Kisaragi..." Before he could say anything else, Konoha stepped into the room with a giant grin, clutching Kido and Seto close to his chest, covering their mouths. He indeed looked like he hit a scene phase, with every part of his body covered in a rich ebony, save for his eerily disturbing yellow eyes. They appeared to shoot venom into Kano, and he could have sworn that they were snake like. The only thing that made him look silly was the red hat perched upon his head. Santa's hat, to be exact.

"Ahah... can I help you, Konoha?" Kano broke the silence nervously. Konoha dropped both kids onto the floor and crossed his arms, giving him his own little special smile of disturbia.

"No, but I certainly can help you! Today is a special day! A special day indeed! You know why?" He said with a different voice, speaking rapidly with an upbeat tone in his voice. Kano didn't know what to say to this display of out of character. Kido helped Seto stand back up, pulling out a few stray green hairs from her mouth.

"K-Konoha?" Mary said, quivering in her spot. Konoha gave off a bizarre laugh that shot a chill through Kano's spine.

"I'm not Konoha, I'm Santa Clause!" Kido deadpanned.

"What are you going on about, Konoha? First you break down the door, then you scare Seto to death, then you drag us in here, almost suffocating us, and then proclaim that you're SANTA?!" She huffed, sticking her hands into her pockets. Konoha seemed to be unaffected by this, as he went on.

"Quit being ungrateful. After all the things I've even sacrificed for you brats..." He cleared his throat. "Anyways, I decided that we're all going to have some fun today! Today's Christmas in August! I decided that I wanted to switch up a few regular occurrences of mine by bidding you good tidings of peace and will! In fact, I brought gifts!" Skipping back down the hallway, Konoha brought back a giant gunnysack that did indeed appear to be filled. No one knew what to even say about this strange display from Konoha, so they let him continue.

"Don't worry, don't worry! Nothing dangerous is filled within these packaged boxes! Well, unless you want it to be dangerous..." He dug into his sack happily and tossed a box that hit Kano in the face. "Merry Christmas!"

"OW!" Kano yelled, but held the box curiously in his arms. Dare he open it? Was it filled with the same drugs Konoha was on at the moment? Because, honestly, that was the only thing to explain his behavior. Or, perhaps, he was hit with a rather large rock. Really hard. Slowly unwrapping the mint green wrapping paper, Konoha watched eagerly as Kano pulled out a mask, split in a separate monochrome style. It felt like it was supposed to resemble his power of deception, and he put on a fake smile. "Thanks for the thought, Konoha."

"Thank you, thank you, deceiver of the eyes! I'd knew you like it!" He took out another and threw it into Kido's stomach. "Now, the leader's gift."

"Will you quit THROWING THOSE?!" Kido yelled, ripping the paper off rapidly. Honestly, Kano will not lie, Kido scared him sometimes. She pulled out a small piece of cloth and held it up in front of her. "Thanks for the... fabric."

"No, no, no! My dear, it's a blindfold! You do recall what those are, correct?" He said, throwing Seto his, which was dropped on his foot. Kido's mouth twitched.

"Yes... I do..."

Seto took out a stuffed animal of a dog, and smiled sadly. "Just like my best friend..."

"A mirror?" Mary asked, looking at her reflection questionably. She smoothed out her bangs as Momo took out a painting.

"Ah... just like the one I made that got me into my idol career." She said with the fake happiness in her voice. Konoha handed a smaller package towards Hibiya, and he begrudgingly accepted it. Opening it, he barely took out what was inside before screaming and dropping the box, covering his face. Momo picked it up and noticed that it was a small toy.

_A toy truck._

"How could I be forgetting? Give this to your older brother when you run into him." Konoha shoved an even smaller box into Momo's hand and picked up his empty sack. "Now, have a jolly good night, and I'll be watching your behavior on my wish list!" He dashed down the hallway and slammed the door, and with that, he left. Momo stroked Hibiya's back as he continued to bawl uncontrollably.

"Wow. What a Grinch." Kano said.

* * *

><p>Shintaro woke up around night to see a small package sitting on his desk. Getting up slowly, not wanting to cause his tension headache to act up even more, he picked up the small sticky note that was slapped onto the top of the box that was written by Momo. How did she even get into his room? Ah, well, she was gone now. Who cares?<p>

"Dear big brother, Konoha came by and gave us gifts today. This one was yours." Shintaro crumpled up the note and shrugged. "Well, free things are free." Opening the box, he hesitated, but pulled out a small pair of scissors, snipping them curiously.

"Konoha has a strange way with gift ideas. _Now, where did my DS's go?"_


End file.
